mostly settled, pretty happy

[RC211V]

One relatively small financial issue remains, which the judge set for trial in a couple months. Everything else we finally settled on. As many others here probably have experienced, what NJ got was less than I have offered her multiple times in multiple ways, but having her attorney there to tell her to accept it I guess made her ok with it. Who knows, she's a dumb-a$$.

What basically happened was our attorneys talked for a while, then we all talked back and forth, attorneys going back and forth between us. After about 3 hours we had agreements on most stuff.

I was worried about my attorney, but she turned out to be great. OC was pretty lame, which I already saw when I met her at the last court date when she was badgering me before the hearing, but sounding so weak and I just ignored her, basically. My attorney was polite and kinda soft spoken, but never took < edited > and had my intereset in mind with everything she said. She slipped a few things into the negotiations and OC and NJ accepted them, it was sneaky and I was impressed. A big one was a financial constraint that they kept insisting was tied to a certain date, but my attorney said 'No, that's the date the court has jurisdiction on... etc.', and they took it and it saved me some $. She did that with a few things, just was persistent but not pushy, and OC for whatever reason didn't argue with her. NJ trusted OC, so when she told her to take it, she did. It was great.

Custody hasn't changed much from 1/3/5 extended weekends, but I get them more in the summer and she gave up trying to limit phone contact and me going to the kids' school and other mid-week contact. I wanted equal time, but I trust my attorney and we have a longer term strategy to get it, based on how our judge likes to rule. I know my judge pretty good, and I trust my attorney's opinion, so I feel good about it. And I did real good financially, so in a few months NJ is going to be hurting and I am going to have a lot more money to work with.

It has been 3 years and they have been long and hard. It isn't over, but I have a REAL solid foundation and in the next year at the most, I hope (probably even less judging how NJ is and how things will change in the next few months with $ for her) to be back in front of the judge ready to get more time with the kids.

[Fatheroffour]

Congratulations.

[RC211V]

Ahhh... man thanks. The first pic is just how it feels. I celebrated a little yesterday with the kids (it felt so great to go pick them up 'early', but now with a signed order in my pocket that said I was on time, not 'early'). Waiting for final judgment in a couple months and then my divorce will be done!

First post was long so didn't say it there, but thanks for all the advice on here and input and listening. I've learned a ton and it really helped me immeasurably. I guess I might have been able to find a lawyer who would take time at $300/hour to spend months to train and teach me all this stuff, but probably not, so the information and guys on here for dialogue and learning are invaluable.

I'm not done yet, but I'm on my way and I know how to get where I'm going. You guys helped me do it. Can't say thanks enough!

[Chosen2Dad]

Glad to hear RC.

3 long years? I'm sorry to hear, but it seems well worth it.