About to give up

Advice on divorce for men considering or starting the divorce process. Get marriage separation advice for men in this divorce forum and child custody forum.

Re: About to give up

Postby Ilovemyboys » Thu May 31, 2012 12:56 pm

It was two separate attorney's that gave me the advice to move out. One was from the firm that sponsors this website. And that attorney, the second one I consulted, just reinforced the reputation and capabilities of my first attorney.

I am happy to be rid of my STBX. There hasn't been any love in this relationship since our S3 was conceived. I have no desire to reconcile. As someone stated on this board, it's better for the kids to be from a broken home than live in one.

So, can I just go pick up my kids without telling someone? I think that would be enticing an argument. We have no separation or custody orders. It seems some sort of communication would be in order.
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Re: About to give up

Postby Fatheroffour » Thu May 31, 2012 12:59 pm

My answer in this thread would be the same here.

viewtopic.php?f=4&t=45491&p=320472&hilit=aggressive+enough#p320472
Everyone lies.
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Re: About to give up

Postby Ilovemyboys » Thu May 31, 2012 1:13 pm

To be honest, I think an issue with a lot of cases we see is dad not being aggressive enough and that's why nutjobs get away with so much. They don't care about the rules, they're going to do what they're going to do and that's it. You have to take them to the mat for every single thing every single time. It catches up with some of them and this forum is filled with stories of dads who have done just that but because dads tend to be more cautious and are more often the ones look to the rules for fairness and justice they are at a disadvantage.

That's not to say you should break the rules but when there is no legal reason that prevents you from going and parenting your kid and you don't because mom says you can't............

The longer you let that go on the harder it is to change.



You may be right. Perhaps I have been socially conditioned to give in to the demands of the mother.
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Re: About to give up

Postby jumbledone » Thu May 31, 2012 1:14 pm

Perhaps?
What we do best here is help the guys who freeze and need to be jolted into action. - Chasbo

The meaning of life is Happiness. What makes you happy? - Dalai Lama
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Re: About to give up

Postby Fatheroffour » Thu May 31, 2012 1:49 pm

Perhaps I have been socially conditioned to give in to the demands of the mother.


Most men are socially conditioned to defer to women.

Remember that and it's effects as you raise your little boys.
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Re: About to give up

Postby mcc333 » Thu May 31, 2012 9:37 pm

Wage an expensive battle that may harm my children?
There's a lot to your post I can touch on but I'm just going to address this little nugget. What a crock of sh&t! You and the SBTX can have a very heated prlonged battle and not have any impact on the kids. You don't dicsuss anything related to the divorce around the kids, you don't disparage the SBTX and you fight for the kids. That simple. Do you think not seeing your kids 5 days a week til there 18 has no impact on them?
"I get knocked down, But I get up again,
You're never going to keep me down" - Chumbawamba
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