How would you react?

[Round2]

1) Long phone calls with a man you've never heard of or was mentioned but claimed the relationship was work related even though she has a work phone. Claimed she couldn't remember his first name but still talked to him the day you were released from the hospital in a near death experience by food allergy at a restaurant.
2) Coming and going from long hours in casual clothes instead of business attire. NICE casual clothes that wouldn't normally be slipped on to be comfy as would be her style early am/late pm.
3) Credit card bill addressed to her best friend's house that you had to pull out of her that it existed because it you came across the paperwork in her files. You know nothing about what is on that card.
4) A bank account she refuses to show you.

Then she claims you're paranoid and controlling for finding this suspicious but REFUSES to show you said other bank account, while you've had joint accounts the entire six years you've been married. Plus, you hold most of the debt in your name since she filed for bankruptcy approximately 8yrs ago.

Marriage counseling to save marriage or divorce? I'm leaning towards divorce & marriage counseling only if she shares the financial paperwork with me now.

[Fatheroffour]

My reaction would be highly dependent on whether there were children involved or not.

[Round2]

My reaction would be highly dependent on whether there were children involved or not.

We have a four year old boy.

[Fatheroffour]

Since there was a child involved my main focus would be doing everything I could to secure my best chance at custody.

You should review the links in my signature.

[Fatheroffour]

I would also not argue with her about her boyfriend or her divorce warchest.

[datum]

You can probably save it -- impossible to say here. At least try.

[Chosen2Dad]

Try to save it...and while you do that..in the interim read FoF's link...plan for the worst and have it all lined up for custody. Patience is the key regardless of what you do...but your preparation can build a great case. I wish I found FoF before filing...trust me..I would be working a different angle now.

If you try to save it and it falls through, there will be less resentment/tension.

[MrCoolDC]

You probably should not have confronted her about any of this. She's obviously planning for divorce. That hidden credit card will have a huge balance on it by the time she files.

Face it: she's been in bankruptcy before and not exactly a trustworthy person. You should on the surface try to smooth things over while you secretly document time with kid, her bad behavior, and try to do more financial sleuthing.