advice needed: daughter wants to move back home with me

[GREATdadBADhusband]

thanks for your suggestions.

School is ending this week and it's obvious my daughter cannot wait to move back into the house with me. It seems like this should be a simple thing. Why wouldn't it be?
With no signed agreements of any type we are a married couple living apart abiding by our "Gentleman's agreement" unsigned MOU.
I paid her CS since the first week she moved out and took D. Why would I need to keep paying STBX support if my daughter moves back with me and why should I not seek CS from X?

[Trevor]

In the absence of any legal actions filed in court, have the child move in with you, stop the CS, and start building that status quo. I wouldn't rock the boat straight away with asking her for CS.

I think the bigger question is, what's keeping you from divorcing this woman?

[GREATdadBADhusband]

No D yet because we attempted to resolve things through mediation. I agree that asking her for CS straight away wouldn't be a good thing. I don't plan on doing that. I do want to halt CS payments to her ASAP and this is what I'm concerned about... the "legalities" (if any) of stopping those direct depost CS payments to her. thanks.

[Anything4Her]

the "legalities" (if any) of stopping those direct depost CS payments to her.

There are no 'legalities'. In the absence of a signed order by the judge, simply stop paying. There will be no legal repercussions. She would look like a fool claiming that you owed her child support when 1) it was never ordered and 2) the child is with you.

Stop worrying, cut her off.

[GREATdadBADhusband]

thanks for the encouraging advice.
Perhaps I should let the courts present her CS responsibilities to her.

All of those years being a great Dad- it's paying off in a way that I never imagined it would.

[GREATdadBADhusband]

After much deliberation I informed NJ that our daughter wants to live with me today. This is not something I take lightly.

This is my "agreed upon" weekend with daughter. Of course, NJ thinks I'm trying to pull "a fast one". NJ's already threatened to call the cops.
After so many months of hearing from her, I'm thoroughly convinced D doesn't want to live with NJ and it's in her best interest to live here in the house she grew up with me. According to my D she's already explained this to X.

What do I do if the cops come knocking?

[Anything4Her]

What do I do if the cops come knocking?

Say
1. It's a civil/custody matter.
2. There are no court orders.
3. Daughter is here, is fine and wants to be here.
4. Have a nice day.

[stb_divorced]

you should have just done as advised. why bother complicating things having a gentleman's discussion about things? now you just showed your cards. expect her to react negatively...

why ask for advice if you're not going to take it?

[Chosen2Dad]

stop paying CS...no legal doc's..do what you want...


keep the daughter with you as much as possible...if paying her CS shuts her mouth and she uses it as spending money maybe, you keep the daughter longer and keep building the case, i would do that as well....

[GREATdadBADhusband]

thanks for the input so far!

Obviously, not all advice is the same so you can't follow ALL of it