Divorcing after 8 years.

[yahoofx]

I'm in Utah - and she would move to Nevada.
I don't want her to have the kids permanently - I want to immediately work out a custody settlement of joint or 50/50.
I know I cannot do this without a lawyer - but she wants to keep this out of the court as much as possible. She does not want things to get ugly - thats because shes the type to just up and make decisions and not consult anyone (ie. moving)

I have run different scenarios through the Utah state child support calculator and the numbers are reasonable for the both of us to survive given each scenario that I've used. Of course I don't want to set myself up for failure in the long run - but something has to get started.

[BartSimpson]

You work out the custody agreement for 50/50, then move out into your own place in the kids school district.

Yes, you need a lawyer. Quietly interview some starting tomorrow - don't mention it, just do it. And as you can see, there goes your savings. When the divorced hens get a hold of wifey, and tell her what she deserves it ain't going to be pretty anymore. The rhetoric of modern women about a collaborative divorce, staying out of court and not wanting to get ugly lasts until the first time they don't get what they want - then all hell breaks loose.

She needs to put on her big girl pants and support herself. You need to pay directly for things like rent, utilities, and groceries - why do you need to pay her to take care of your children?

Curious, not that it matters, are you LDS?

[yahoofx]

No we're not LDS - we got married in California and were from So Cal for most of our lives. We married in San Diego - and moved to Utah because of a better job opportunity. She also went to work full time up here.

[Fatheroffour]

You should review the links in my signature. You're making some pretty big strategic mistakes and relying on "Hope".