it is OVERRRRRRRRRRRRR

[singledad111]

8 hours of mediation today to settle out the few assets we had left- the house, 2 cars and 401ks. Lasted 8 hours. At the end of the 6th hour, I packed my things to walk out, she was demanding 90% of marital assets (we are in Tx - so 50-50 is the norm) and 12% of my separate assets as well as a cash payment of 40K on top plus other ridiculous things. When they saw me and my lawyer packing up, her lawyer asked for 15 minutes to speak with the client. Then he told her if this is not settled today he will drop her as her demands are ridiculous and cannot be supported.

so after wasting 6 hours of the day we reached the agreement. I got 50-50 on the marital assets, claim for my separate assets, she incurs all the legal fees going forward to bring this to the close. Basically, I should be happy, but I feel neutral. I guess I did not really care for assets that much since the child issues were settled in Feb.

Anyways- end result of the entire case- 50-50 on the child custody both legal and physical, week on and week off, no child support. 50-50 on marital assets and 100% of separate assets that was mine before the marriage. Alternate tax deduction. I get all the liquid marital assets- cash and the house, she got all the non liquid- pension and 401k by her choice. Case lasted 1.5 years and cost around $140K in legal fees. I had one of the best and most expensive lawyers, but it is all the advice I got here and all the stories I read that truly made the difference.

Big thanks to FoF, although not a lot of specific advice to my case, but reading your sound advice for others helped me keep perspective.

If anyone has any questions about the case, which I did not share before for privacy reasons, please, let me know and I will be happy to help

[Fatheroffour]

My treat.

[Anything4Her]

It's kind of funny. FoF gets mentioned more often by posters than any other member. He gets called a jerk, a troll and various other unsavory names.
....Then when guys post their success stories, they thank the board and "especially FoF".

Funny how that works out.

Singledad, congratulations on getting this done in mediation. Contrast to Groundhogday in another thread where his NJ rejected a mediated agreement and spent $140K in legal fees.

[blueTexas]

Singledad111, congratulations are due....I think.

[Trevor]

Glad it's done. Sometimes the hardest part of a settlement is knowing that this is all you wanted in the first place, a reasonable split, and yet it takes all your life's savings to get what could have cost nothing. Stick around and help others with your experience, and maybe you'll be cited as much as Fo4!

[Here_We_Go]

Congratulations!!! I am just at the beginning of the road, so i guess i should hope to finish up by next September. I envy you that it is over.

[singledad111]

Glad it's done. Sometimes the hardest part of a settlement is knowing that this is all you wanted in the first place, a reasonable split, and yet it takes all your life's savings to get what could have cost nothing. Stick around and help others with your experience, and maybe you'll be cited as much as Fo4!

Trevor, I agree. Funny thing is, this was what was offered to the NJ on day 1 - 50-50 in child time and 50-50 in assets. it took her 1 year to agree to 50-50 in child time. You'd think she learned the lesson but...it had to take another 6 months to agree to 50-50 in assets. While I wasted 140K to get what I was entitled in the first place, she wasted about 50K to get what was offered to her on day 1. So the only winners of the case are of course lawyers.

[singledad111]

Congratulations!!! I am just at the beginning of the road, so i guess i should hope to finish up by next September. I envy you that it is over.

Thanks!! Hang in there, it will be over soon as well. Can advise you to be patient, turn off the emotions, dont engage, listen to what people say here, dont get defensive and make sure you do the right thing for your kids if you have any.

[capslock]

Singledad,
Congrats. What's funny is, I bet if you pointed this out to your wife, that you offered the same in the beginning, she would never be able to admit that this is true.
If like my ex, she would get a wrinkled expression and start an argument as if you were speaking another language and argue as if you had asked for 100% of custody and assets all along.

[singledad111]

Singledad,
Congrats. What's funny is, I bet if you pointed this out to your wife, that you offered the same in the beginning, she would never be able to admit that this is true.
If like my ex, she would get a wrinkled expression and start an argument as if you were speaking another language and argue as if you had asked for 100% of custody and assets all along.

Spot on. That's why they are called NJ. Curiously, that's the real initials of my X as well:)