Nothing I've ever done is easy...so why should this be...

Advice on divorce for men considering or starting the divorce process. Get marriage separation advice for men in this divorce forum and child custody forum.

Re: Nothing I've ever done is easy...so why should this be..

Postby jamessick » Wed Jul 11, 2012 10:17 am

Your atty should have partners that can help while he's out. Unless he's the only atty and his own firm.
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Re: Nothing I've ever done is easy...so why should this be..

Postby Fatheroffour » Wed Jul 11, 2012 10:31 am

There isn't much you can to to be proactie about preventing her from taking off or spreading rumors.

Hopefully, you've been spending all your spare time shoring up your case and reading all you can on your states domestic relations code.
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Re: Nothing I've ever done is easy...so why should this be..

Postby stioffan » Sun Jul 15, 2012 12:36 am

I filed on Friday the 13th. We will serve in the next week or two. My MIL is planning on returning on August 15th, but my attorney says we can keep that from happening when NJ is served. I just need to be specific about why I don't want her in the house. That shouldn't be a problem as she is a bigger NJ than my NJ. Thanks to all you guys for the great advice. I'll keep you posted.
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Re: Nothing I've ever done is easy...so why should this be..

Postby stioffan » Mon Jul 30, 2012 5:14 pm

atoice wrote:Holy < edited >...you can keep your MIL out? GOOD FOR YOU!

Mine moved in January 21st, 2012! And she's a wack as well!


Actually after speaking with my attorney he advises that it would be best to let the MIL visit and then return to Texas. As long as I keep cool for those 3 weeks then everything will be good and I can get on with it. It will give me more time to solidify my new relationships with my autistic sons new speech therapist and teachers and the 4yo boys new pre-school officials.

A new development is that I discovered the Lover is also married. I'm not sure that matters a whole lot, but I have named him as the lover in the divorce papers.
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Re: Nothing I've ever done is easy...so why should this be..

Postby keko » Mon Jul 30, 2012 5:35 pm

If his spouse isn't aware, you may want to consider telling her.
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Re: Nothing I've ever done is easy...so why should this be..

Postby Fatheroffour » Mon Jul 30, 2012 5:56 pm

keko wrote:If his spouse isn't aware, you may want to consider telling her.



Why?

Does it serve the purpose of getting a better outcome of the divorce?

Save the bitter horseplay for later and focus on what gets you a better deal in the divorce. i.e, using the Mr. Wonderful effect has served many members very well. Throwing a grenade on their little lovefest isn't usually the way to parlay the Mr. Wonderful Effect to ones advantage.
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Re: Nothing I've ever done is easy...so why should this be..

Postby TransAm » Mon Jul 30, 2012 6:15 pm

I agree. I threw that grenade. Then I was blamed for ruining her life. Quite the insult actually. Your likely to get the same result.
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Re: Nothing I've ever done is easy...so why should this be..

Postby stioffan » Tue Jul 31, 2012 6:21 am

Fatheroffour wrote:
keko wrote:If his spouse isn't aware, you may want to consider telling her.



Why?

Does it serve the purpose of getting a better outcome of the divorce?

Save the bitter horseplay for later and focus on what gets you a better deal in the divorce. i.e, using the Mr. Wonderful effect has served many members very well. Throwing a grenade on their little lovefest isn't usually the way to parlay the Mr. Wonderful Effect to ones advantage.


I like your thinking.
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Re: Nothing I've ever done is easy...so why should this be..

Postby stioffan » Tue Jul 31, 2012 6:24 pm

I am thinking of setting up a nanny/hidden cam on my MIL while she is here. She will be watching the b4 and b5 while I am at work and wife is wherever. I was thinking it may be useful later when I tell them that I want a social worker present when my MIL visits my wife. She is a detriMENTAL influence on the kids and this cam will be guaranteed to catch this behavior.
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Re: Nothing I've ever done is easy...so why should this be..

Postby Fatheroffour » Tue Jul 31, 2012 6:29 pm

Unless you catch MIL in obvious acts of abuse and are able to get some sort of protective order or supervised < parenting time >, that's just not going to happen.

Use care with the camera. You don't want to come off as mental yourself.
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