Nothing I've ever done is easy...so why should this be...

[Chosen2Dad]

courts don't care what you do in your spare time...her accusing you of cheating in front of the kids..probably good for her conduct..but if you are..who cares..don't involve the kids...

[stioffan]

I just found out that she has started spreading rumors amongst her friends that I am using Coke or Meth. I've never done either in my life. I also see that she is getting her credit cards ready. I think she is planning to bolt (maybe to Texas). And I just called the attorney to give him his retainer and he is on vacation until July 25th. What the Hell am I going to do?

[jamessick]

Your atty should have partners that can help while he's out. Unless he's the only atty and his own firm.

[Fatheroffour]

There isn't much you can to to be proactie about preventing her from taking off or spreading rumors.

Hopefully, you've been spending all your spare time shoring up your case and reading all you can on your states domestic relations code.

[stioffan]

I filed on Friday the 13th. We will serve in the next week or two. My MIL is planning on returning on August 15th, but my attorney says we can keep that from happening when NJ is served. I just need to be specific about why I don't want her in the house. That shouldn't be a problem as she is a bigger NJ than my NJ. Thanks to all you guys for the great advice. I'll keep you posted.

[Chosen2Dad]

Holy crap...you can keep your MIL out? GOOD FOR YOU!

Mine moved in January 21st, 2012! And she's a wack as well!

[stioffan]

Holy < edited >...you can keep your MIL out? GOOD FOR YOU!

Mine moved in January 21st, 2012! And she's a wack as well!

Actually after speaking with my attorney he advises that it would be best to let the MIL visit and then return to Texas. As long as I keep cool for those 3 weeks then everything will be good and I can get on with it. It will give me more time to solidify my new relationships with my autistic sons new speech therapist and teachers and the 4yo boys new pre-school officials.

A new development is that I discovered the Lover is also married. I'm not sure that matters a whole lot, but I have named him as the lover in the divorce papers.

[capslock]

That might inspire a settlement.

[keko]

If his spouse isn't aware, you may want to consider telling her.

[Fatheroffour]

If his spouse isn't aware, you may want to consider telling her.

Why?

Does it serve the purpose of getting a better outcome of the divorce?

Save the bitter horseplay for later and focus on what gets you a better deal in the divorce. i.e, using the Mr. Wonderful effect has served many members very well. Throwing a grenade on their little lovefest isn't usually the way to parlay the Mr. Wonderful Effect to ones advantage.