Sharing HOME can she throw out my company?

[Abdefg123]

I want friends and family around as much as possible so she doesn't make false claims and also to balance out the face that she inevitably will invite her friends over all the time like she did b4 I moved out (one of reasons I moved out I knew her friends are capable of lying for her).

What's the law? It's MY HOME (solo name on deed/mortgage bought b4 marriage so yes I know its "marital home" blah blah)..

She's already said "If your brother or mother come over here I'm calling the cops. they aren't welcome here".

CAN SHE CALL COPS AND HAVE MY BROTHER OR FRIENDS THROWN OFF THE PROPERTY AND IF SO, I GUESS I'LL HAVE TO DO THE SAME TO ANY OF HER FRIENDS THAT COME BY??

[cdavis]

They will be able to stay if you want but its questionable if you should, you need to be careful do things that a prudent as you don't want to look bad or at fault for the separation/divorce.

[blueTexas]

Sure, bring your relatives over but keep it low key... I suggest you be polite and cordial to her friends. Overall though you should try to be civil with your stbx to get both of you through this. Attempting to create any more antagonism here will likely backfire.

[Fatheroffour]

Put her to the test and document her calling the cops on loving grandma coming to visit her grandkids.


Nut Jobs get away with so much because few people have the time, energy, money and patience to call take them to the mat every single time they pull their shananagins but when they go up against someone that does it eventually catches up to them. She's acting nutty and being a royal biatch. Use it to your advantage whenever possible.

[Abdefg123]

Good stuff. then follow up question: How do I protect myself when she has her friends over? It will be 3 vs. 1 . the lying words of 3 people may seem like truth to some...

[hoosier_dad]

Play out FOF's scenario in court. Your STBX will kick relatives out because their presence along with yours is merely a nuisance and pi*sses her off. On the stand when questioned she'll turn on the crocodile tears and describe how your family and friends were abusive and threatening and she had to get them out to protect herself and "her" children.

Your attorney then produces an audio recording showing that Nanna was actually playing games with the children and they were having a great time. The recording shows that the entire incident was instigated by your STBX in front of the children.

This only works if your family and friends can keep their mouths shut and be completely civil with your STBX, otherwise she'll be justified in getting them out.


This type of scenario played out in my case with my ex-MIL on the stand. Net result is it undermines their entire testimony.

[Fatheroffour]

You keep your recording going and retreat to a neutral spot in the home.

The theory goes that she needs proof. Just don't give her any thing to use against you. It doesn't always work out like that because the system sucks and every White Knight/ Captain Save-a-Ho in the county comes running when a girl starts crying but it's the system your stuck with and have to use it to get what you want.

It's unfortunate, but for every guy that slaps his old lady around there is a woman making false and exagggerated claims against an innocent man. These are the types that are screwing it up for everyone because do gooders think they can solve all the worlds problems with stupid laws.


Stay calm, be rational, reasonable and don't get emotional and you should come out of this OK. She's running on emotion so you should be able to outsmart her.

[Lostdadof1]

Do you have an agreement in place on this? I got NJ to sign one, that only allows "friends" of the opposite at the property with my permission. So once Mr. Wonderful was positively known, he wasn't allowed on the property. Although he has been there when I am not, feel like that is a battle I can't easily win, and I'd rather have him there with my S than S at whatever dump he is squatting at this week. So far NJ hasn't tried to bring him around the property when I am there, hopefully she is that stupid someday, love to have the cops drag him off.

[hoosier_dad]

Good stuff. then follow up question: How do I protect myself when she has her friends over? It will be 3 vs. 1 . the lying words of 3 people may seem like truth to some...

The incident I described was 3 vs. 1, my ex and her parents cornered me in the house. If you stay calm it will come through on the audio, and it will be clear who the instigators are. My ex-MIL went so far as to be physically restrained by the ex-FIL and even that was clear on the audio. If you let them bait you and they get a rise out of you in any way then you've lost, even if they instigated it. You have to be prepared to get called every name in the book, sometimes even in front of your children, and still not let any anger show.

In time you learn how to keep yourself out of those situations, and when the rare one does happen you learn to disengage quickly.

[Treading Water]

You mentioned that you had moved out of the marital home. Have you already moved back in? If not, do so as soon as possible (like tomorrow). I don't see how you can kick her friends to the curb if you are not living in the house. At the same time, I do not see how you can expect to invite your friends and relatives to the house if you are not living there.

TW