Reducing timeframe to get NJ out of my house?

[BubbaGumpShrimp]

When I made my initial appointment with my lawyer, she suggested that giving 60-120 days notice would be more than enough for the purposes of not looking like a dirt bag when the dust settles. I went with 90 days on the initial PSA, which she said was more than generous.

Where I am at the moment ---> NJ makes $45k/year. She's currently paying for ZERO percent of her living expenses. I'm paying for the house (my goddamn house), utilities, health insurance, auto insurance, her car, etc. Fat chance that I'll ever get a cent out of her to help with covering any of those expenses.

We're talking about an 11 month marriage. There are no "kids of the marriage." The only thing she has to gain from being a PITA is continuing to being a drain on me, financially. It would cost me more to send the lawyer to court and try to strain money out of her than I could ever hope to get awarded (if I'd get awarded anything).

I'm seriously contemplating tearing the rug out from under her 30 days early (would make it 60 days notice). What I'm proposing is already spelled out in the PSA. i.e. Get your *** out by 'x' date or utilities will be cut off.

I need her out so that I can get the place listed with a rental agent (I will not be moving down there). If I can't get her out in a timely manner, I'll just walk away from the house (also spelled out in the PSA).

Is there are negative side to decreasing her time from 90 to 60 days? She has not acknowledged or agreed to anything in the PSA...so there's no kind of "breach of contract" or anything along those lines that would occur. Even at 60 days...she's remaining in the house for almost 20% of the duration of the marriage (more than reasonable on my part, I think).

I'm going to run this by my attorney on Monday, as that's the date that we set as the expiration for our "offer" (which...again...she hasn't responded to). As she's a NJ...she honestly thinks that it'll take me 12+ months to get her out of the house. What she doesn't process is that i'm 100% prepared to just abandon the house and stop making the payment.

Her whole family lives within 45 minutes. She has somewhere to go. I would appreciate any advice that you have to offer.

Edit: Yes...I understand that there's a good likelihood that she'll trash the place. I don't care. I just want her out of it so that I can move on and figure out what to do with the house.

[Fatheroffour]

To each their own. If I couldn't have verbally run her out, I'd have shut off the water, removed all the locks and door knobs and pulled all the breakers on my way out of the door of my own house.

[BubbaGumpShrimp]

To each their own. If I couldn't have verbally run her out, I'd have shut off the water, removed all the locks and door knobs and pulled all the breakers on my way out of the door of my own house.

If she didn't have kids...I'd have done that.

[Fatheroffour]

just for the sake of discussion, why does that make a difference? You're still kicking her out. You ask her nicely to leave and she doesn't so you kick her out. Whether its today or tomorrow matters little.

You big meanie. I can't believe you'll put a poor single mom and her kids out on the street like that. You should be ashamed.

Why can't the kids go live with their dad? Let me guess. He's a meanie too.

[BubbaGumpShrimp]

just for the sake of discussion, why does that make a difference? You're still kicking her out. You ask her nicely to leave and she doesn't so you kick her out. Whether its today or tomorrow matters little.

You big meanie. I can't believe you'll put a poor single mom and her kids out on the street like that. You should be ashamed.

Why can't the kids go live with their dad? Let me guess. He's a meanie too.

Yeah...that's what I'm thinking at the moment.

Pretty much. He split town shortly after they popped out. At this point, it's pretty easy to understand why. She's already attempting to portray me as a NJ, just as she did with her first ex.

[epsilon]

What she doesn't process is that I'm 100% prepared to just abandon the house and stop making the payment.

And how is that going to change anything? That will do nothing to get her out. Foreclosures take a long time to begin with let alone with the backlog banks have right now. She would be there a minimum of 12 months.

Finish the divorce and pay a sheriff to evict her.

Or have all the utilities turned off and do what fof says. Frankly you made this mess by leaving. Why anyone would leave their own house I don't understand.

[capslock]

Cut the utilities today.

[chereeda]

Cut the utilities Tuesday if you have not heard from her by the offer deadline you gave her of Monday.

donna

[BubbaGumpShrimp]

What she doesn't process is that I'm 100% prepared to just abandon the house and stop making the payment.

And how is that going to change anything? That will do nothing to get her out. Foreclosures take a long time to begin with let alone with the backlog banks have right now. She would be there a minimum of 12 months.

Finish the divorce and pay a sheriff to evict her.

Or have all the utilities turned off and do what fof says. Frankly you made this mess by leaving. Why anyone would leave their own house I don't understand.

It won't (from a technical/legal standpoint). She can stay in the house 12+ months for all I care. However, after the 90 days lapses and she's failed to agree to any of my terms...I will stop paying for the utilities. Shortly after that....if that doesn't work...I'll just stop paying on everything else.

Yeah....essentially seven months (six month separation plus one month to run the divorce through the system). I'm not waiting that long to stop paying for everything. The way the local sheriff's department works...even after the divorce is finalized...I'll have to work to get them to evict her. They're not just going to say "Otay...we'll boot her" if I file a request with them.

The only reason that I'm able to exist at the moment is my parents good graces. I can pay all of the home expenses (basically support her ***), but that means that I have zero ability to afford food...much less put a roof over my head.

Cut the utilities today.

We're talking about VA here. I'm a scumbag that abandoned my wife (even if she is a complete NJ) in the eyes of the system. If I did that (when there's time remaining on an existing offer), it wouldn't go over well for me.

Let's be honest...I'm going to get ****** one way or another here. Getting her to leave the house voluntarily (even if it's from the utilities being cut off) is a fluffy bunny and unicorn/feel good ending for me. She's a schemer. I wouldn't be surprised if she could somehow convince the utility companies to turn the utilities back on. I can see it now...kids crying in the background (from her getting them going) and her sociopathic sobbing about how her mean husband ditched her and her kids and shut the utilities off.

Everything I'm doing (including getting out of dodge sans false charges) is driven by my knowledge that she's a manipulative person (in my opinion...she's a textbook sociopath) and will do whatever it takes to see that she gets what she wants.

Cut the utilities Tuesday if you have not heard from her by the offer deadline you gave her of Monday.

donna

The 4/30 deadline applies to the offer I made on the PSA for her to have 90 days (from 4/7). So I'd be scooting the date up from ~7/15 to ~6/15. I'll see what the lawyer has to say. At this point, I'm done being her personal charity.

At this point (I've been gone for 21 days), she's still in the call...harass...threaten...come back cycle of phone calls (in no particular order). I don't think that she'll process that I'm not coming back until the utilies get shut off.

[chereeda]

The 4/30 deadline applies to the offer I made on the PSA for her to have 90 days (from 4/7). So I'd be scooting the date up from ~7/15 to ~6/15. I'll see what the lawyer has to say. At this point, I'm done being her personal charity.

Right, but if you don't hear from her by the deadline there is no agreement and you don't have to uphold anything you offered. The offer is only good if she agrees to the terms. She doesn't agree, then there is no onus on you to follow through and you can start eviction proceedings.

donna