Odd Divorce/Custody Situation - Please Help ASAP

[dadonamission]

Hello all,
I'm 29 years old, 2 kids S2.5, D9Months.
Married 3-4 years. Moved in with her parents during her last pregnancy.
She wanted a home birth, fine. She started having an affair, found all types of
pics of her while she was pregnant on our computer with other dudes. WHILE SHE
WAS PREGNANT. One day I come back from work, she drops the divorce bomb. Her family and her had to have been planning this, they set it all up to have us move in with our kids so they could transition easily. Anyway, things got to the unbearable point where I had to frequently leave or the NJ would keep screaming with no regard for the kids. One night I went to go get some food and the door was locked, BOLTED in fact. Call her, call her parents, ring the door bell, knock on the door, everyone refused to answer me. Finally, her brother sends me a txt msg saying stfu we're trying to sleep! At this point I would have done physical damage to them, for safety sake I had to go cool off. Looking back I should have called the police. So, she already filed for divorce, didnt even know it. It was at the point I had to leave her parents house because of all the drama, family members acting < edited > to me, whole 9 yards. It took weeks in order to be able to see my kids. She's using them against me.

MY MAIN QUESTIONS / MAJOR CONCERNS:

#1 There is no custody order, no court order, nothing. Just divorce filed, no court date yet. Am I not legally able to keep my son with me for a day or two?? She gives me 4 hours 1 day a week IF I'M LUCKY! Turns into 4 hours every 2 weeks. I had my son and daughter here, my Daughter breastfeeds every 4 hours, whatever, shes better off with the NJ, but my S2.5, hes dying to spend time with me and I miss him so much I cry 8 hours a day at times. Anyway when I had them last weekend, I was going to keep my son longer. I called the cops and the cop made me give my kid back to her! I was like there's no order! He's like doesnt matter. I have it all recorded. If I keep my own Son with me, what can they do????? Who is she to say I cant see my kids!?


#2 I was not technically served, they pushed the papers on my brother (he has the downstairs and I live upstairs) Not same apartment, separate household.. Anyway I have until Wednesday to file my Answer with Counter. Should the ANSWER to the "divorce lawsuit" be a full on explanation of everything relevant or just basically sharing my proposed parenting plan, custody plan, etc. Do I save the entire shortened juicy story for court at trial or what?

That's about it, everything else is BS forms and madness. I WANT MY KIDS BACK! THAT IS ALL I CARE ABOUT!! Thank you for reading and any help!!!

[Fatheroffour]

Am I not legally able to keep my son with me for a day or two??

Probably so, but your wife will also be attempting to exercise her legal rights to the child also. With two people , a man and a woman, with equal competing rights the general response from the white knight society we live in is to let the girl get her way.

Do I save the entire shortened juicy story for court at trial or what?

You answer any allegation that paints you in a bad light with a general denial. Save all the juicy stuff for......later.

[defaultuser]

What state are you in?

Did you read the List?

[blueTexas]

Do ever need your consciousness raised!
See a lawyer immediately.
Not being served is not an excuse. If the paperwork was filed, the clock is ticking.
Read the paperwork.
Find a way to record her and her family's rants against you-and use those recordings.

[Bubba Seal]

Hire an attorney

Legally you have to answer the questions, however an attorney can get you a stay I think til you get it done

Your way way behind the eightball on this, you need some serious legal help to find out what you can do in your state.

Good Luck and get busy, no one hear can fix this for you, you have to step up to the plate and face it head to head

[lohe]

Yes, get a lawyer NOW.
Document her refusal to give you reasonable parenting time as soon as possible. If you already have it documented, document the fact that you have reasonably asked her to spend more time with your children and she still refuses.
Based on her refusal to give you reasonable parenting time with your children, ask for an emergency custody order as soon as possible.
I would also see a therapist if you can without her knowing, because crying for 8 hours at a time, even given the situation, is a little much. You gotta pull yourself together. We've all been there, sadly. You gotta find ways to distract yourself if nothing else. Really, get some help if you can. Stay strong for your kids!

[dadonamission]

Thank you everyone, I know I need a Lawyer, however she held onto all the money, did some dirty work to make sure I had no car, no money and living w my mom 30 minutes from her parents house.

Unfortunately, I exhausted all possibilities and can't afford a lawyer, getting to a free lawyer office I'd have to walk 5 miles, absolutely no money. I've been in court pro se before, not for this but I'm already down the road of putting in massive work.

Emergency Temporary Custody sounds like a plan. I just checked it out and for NJ it's saying there has to be some dangers going on. I know of many dangers going on in that house.... rock on.

All NJ did was include the following with her initial divorce filing: conversations from online with people about me or text messages in print which I will challenge, nothing incriminating on my side at all. Other than that she just wants SUPPORT SUPPORT SUPPORT. Personally, I'm going for her throat.

[blueTexas]

Don't tip your hand on your plans, but you've got to beg borrow or steal the funds for a lawyer as soon as possible Try your mom. There's no shame in borrowing from your relatives for a divorce. At least you're working, right?

[dadonamission]

She strong holded all the money & covered her tracks before I knew what was happening. Then she called in my vehicle stolen (it was in her name for insurance purposes) so I had to give it up, lost my job bc I couldn't get into work, I've been doing odd jobs around my area, submitting resumes, going on interviews, everything else. My parents have very little money and my dad will not borrow on the house so yeah.. rough rough situation.

Yet NJ claims I do not give her support $ when she had over $2,000 (that she admitted was our join money) and then she sold the vehicle for $700 which is BS, probably more like $1,700... but yeah, she leaves me with $500, no vehicle, I have all our phone convos recorded almost done transcribing them all where I say "Your parents have 3 vehicles, if you try to strong hold my vehicle I will lose my job and it will hurt the kids." She replies "I don't care"

[demurrer]

Then she called in my vehicle stolen (it was in her name for insurance purposes) so I had to give it up, lost my job bc I couldn't get into work"

Property titles don't mean very much if the asset was marital (bought with marital funds during the marriage). In my case I had to let my nj/stbx continue to use the car titled in my name until the plenary trial. I really wanted to reclaim it and sell it before the temporary support hearing though b/c she was living with her retired parents who had 2 vehicles that she could use.

If a Husband deprived a stbx of a marital asset vehicle things wouldn't go very well for him in the temporary support hearing.

If a stbx deprived a Husband of a marital asset vehicle I'm going to presume that it would have little impact on the outcome of the temporary support hearing.