how to get her to move out (or, how can i grow a pair?)

[Claudius]

The way I think this goes is if she takes the kids, you file to have them returned to their home. She's moved out, oh well. Could be a gift to you if you act quickly and don't let her build status quo. Pretty sure you will need an attorney at that point.

[Fatheroffour]

Sorry bro. This is a pretty standard de-evolution of events. Her moving out with this kids is a possibility. Your recourse is to motion for the children to be returned and exclusive use of the home.

Unfortunately, that's a move that hasn't had a lot of success reported here.

No agreement you have with her is binding.

[blueTexas]

It appears that you have agreed to have the kids for 3 days and she has them 4. You should have them for at least 50 percent of the time so the inequity does not become status quo.
I think you're better off staying home. You might consider finding more ways to avoid the possibility of a temporary restraining order

[jumbledone]

Who was the status conference with? If it was just her and her atty, never go to those. Only go to the ones with the court. You need to get represented. If a court appt comes up, and the person you want to go with is OOT, request that the appt be postponed so counsel can be there with you.

Based upon what was told to you, I doubt that this was in the presence of court officials. Don't go there again. If your petition is not already filed, file it now with request that children and you stay in the marital home. If it is already filed, try to amend it any way you can to include this. They've tipped their hands, now try to use the information they've given you.

STBX and atty did exactly what they wanted to do: rattle you. Calm down, it is only the first inning, and that was a high and inside fastball, but nothing to really sweat over at this point.

[nevermorenevermore]

ok, thanks guys. i appreciate the support and realistic perspective.

so, need help on "next step"

status is: wife moved out has kids on her attorney's advice since I wouldn't leave the house, she filed motion for Temp Orders hearing 2 weeks from today.
-it is a phone hearing
-haven't seen details of motion yet

i have a feeling this is a VERY big deal and will set the direction of my case moving forward I have let my almost-attorney know (working on getting $ to him for retainer). The Temp Order is about everything: maintnence, residence, time with kids, etc.

here is what I am thinking. she is wanting to move back in and kick me out. I am currently in the house, alone. As i mentioned in a previous post, we have a very large house (7 bed 3 bath). I bought it as an investment property way back when, and we taken turns renting it all out, living in all of it, and renting the upstairs and living in the downstairs, and vice versa (the downstairs has a private entrance and a kitchen area). Anyway, what it/ any of the following should I do:

Stick it to the Ex 1)
i rent the TOP part of the house out in the next two weeks.... the rent would cover the mortgage. i would move downstairs, and the kids would have a safe place with me. i know for a fact my wife would not want move back to the bottom in if the top was rented. would the judge take kindly to this or? i need a place to live, there is plenty of room for the kids, and it is an income source to pay the mortgage while I am unemployed, and it keeps the stbx out of my hair. seems like a good deal to me, but..... what are your thoughts? help me or hurt me?

Stick it to the Ex 2)
second, we share a minivan. wife has it right now, and she insinuated that i can pick up the kids after school friday. (seemingly sticking to our same "agreement" that she has walked out on re: the house). I am not sure she will let me take the kids, i have had them the past several weekends, and a 5 week stint while she was in the hospital/recovery. my q is, what if I show up to the kids school on my bike? or disable the car I show up in and let her figure out how to get around on her own this weekend. will this help me or hurt me?

Stick it to the Ex 3)
when she left the house, she took our computer. This is technically a business asset i purchased with my business account, and have used for business purposes to do data migration work in the past. i have another computer, but could make a real case that this as software /data that I need on it. she will say it was a gift. im thinking about calling the police to report theft. will that hurt or help?

[jumbledone]

1) Talk to your almost atty if that is advisable, but if you are down to one income to afford mortgage, it may be deemed reasonable. Make sure if you do that you thoroughly vet any person, including criminal background check.

2) Kids are yours as well. No court orders = no one has jurisdiction over the kids. Change the locks on your house doors, as she moved out, and then go pick the kids up from school any way you can. Go back home, lock doors. Let her rant and rave, you are within your rights as a parent to exercise child possession time, just like she is. Those rights conflict at this point. Don't let her relegate you to weekends only, even with the hearing two weeks away. Try being with the kids constantly, and document that time and the times she denies visitations to you.

3) Domestic matter. Doubt the cops would care. You can try, but it seems petty. Bring it up at the conference you have in a couple of weeks.

[nevermorenevermore]

thx jumbledone , very reasonable.

so, she moved out. so i would give my self a small pat on the back for standing firm. it was the hardest thing i have done up till now, ever, in a relationship. her attorney played bleeding heart, how could I be so cruel as to uproot my kids. little do they know....

now, it is time to move from preschool into kindergarten:

how do i get her to go bananas? i have the Restraining Order paperwork all filled out, ready to file. But I am not sure I have enough "evidence" that she is a threat to the kids and me. I have a photo that shows some recent bad judgement related to her care for s3, but she would dispute my version of it. there is the suicide attempt, but that was back in feb. probably can't include her "availability" for w4m BBC on Cragislist,, but that can't be to good for the kids..... i need some help here...!


oh, also, showing the house this weekend. it is a risky move, would love more input on that (see previous post above jumbledone )