suggestions appreciated

[GREATdadBADhusband]

REASONABLE suggestions
background info: state of NY
Married 18 yrs.
parents had equal incomes each of those years
NJ requested a divorce 7/11 (quickly changed to legal separation when she found out she wouldn't be under my health care ins. if divorced.)
NJ moved into her own apt. 10/11
One 14 yr old D (moved into STBX's apt.)
I have records of CS paid and I've met all other obligations

I worked with STBX and a mediater for aprox 6 months to come up with an agreement that was tweaked several times in order to make STBX happy.
3 days before we were to sign our memorandum of understanding (MOU) she had me cancel the appointment. Several weeks later I found out the real reason why: she lost her job.
STBX had been unemployed since late Feb. and a couple of weeks ago wanted to get me back to the mediator to re-write the MOU based on her being unemployed on the theory I now owe her "alimony" (her word not mine!). I refused to go to that meeting.
Amazingly enough, the following Monday she landed a job but informed me that she had to take a HUGE pay cut.
She's now says that she's hoping to find employment that matches her previous salary so I don't have to pay her "alimony" (spousal maintenance).

1) does her rationale have any merit? She's on an employment rollercoaster now. I want closure. What would a judge make of all this?
2) it would be great if we could just sign the MOU.
If not for this "spousal maintenance" issue, it's a done deal. Or is it?
Is this just another wrinkle in a larger picture of stall tactics?
Why would NJ want to stall?

[lohe]

The legal reason for spousal support is that one of the partners in the marriage gave up significant chances for income improvement to care for the children/house in the marriage.

If you both make the same amount of money or are able to make the same amount of money, legally there should be no reason for you to pay spousal support.

BUT given the length of your marriage your state might mandate it.

You need to do a little bit of research on your own and find out what your state laws say about this.