Divorce is FINAL

[Jman]

I had my final court hearing last Tuesday and my divorce is final. I am officially single. Ex never fought back on anything. I got the house, and will remain primary custodial parent of my 7 year old daughter. < parenting time > is 50/50. I'm okay with that.

My ex is so taken by her new boyfriend that she didn't want to drag things out in the divorce. I consider my self lucky, but still deal with anger issues becuase of the last eight months of lying and deception. I feel like I will never accept the BF as my daughter's step dad, role model, or anything else. Should I just let go and let ex's new BF into my daughter's life? Am I unreasonbly holding onto anger, or should I just accept the inevitable and do my best at being a great dad?

Thanks to everyone from your support over the last months.

[Fatheroffour]

CONGRATULATIONS.

Should I just let go and let ex's new BF into my daughter's life? Am I unreasonbly holding onto anger, or should I just accept the inevitable and do my best at being a great dad?

Whether the BF is going to be in her life isn't up to you. You should let it go. Your anger isn't unreasonable but at some point you have to get past it for your own health and mental state. The sooner, the better.

It's process.

[capslock]

congrats dude.
let go of the anger sure. enjoy the feeling of the driver's seat. look down your nose at them and be the boss.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NisCkxU544c

[Fatheroffour]

[capslock]

Lol. All junk and no trunk. That things pinner.

[dobradavid]

News flash - the ex's BF being in your children's life is not under your control.

Best you can do is a BG check - and if bad things come out of it - increase your parenting time.

I had my final court hearing last Tuesday and my divorce is final. I am officially single. Ex never fought back on anything. I got the house, and will remain primary custodial parent of my 7 year old daughter. < parenting time > is 50/50. I'm okay with that.

My ex is so taken by her new boyfriend that she didn't want to drag things out in the divorce. I consider my self lucky, but still deal with anger issues becuase of the last eight months of lying and deception. I feel like I will never accept the BF as my daughter's step dad, role model, or anything else. Should I just let go and let ex's new BF into my daughter's life? Am I unreasonbly holding onto anger, or should I just accept the inevitable and do my best at being a great dad?

Thanks to everyone from your support over the last months.

[Jman]

News flash - the ex's BF being in your children's life is not under your control.

Best you can do is a BG check - and if bad things come out of it - increase your parenting time.

He's probably not a bad person, except for his propensity to seduce married women. I guess I need to let go and move on with MY life, and not let anger control me.

[Trevor]

Look forward, not back. Reconstruct your life to include activities that you want in it; ones you gave up when you got married or never tried cos you were married. Same thing with the people in your life...figure out if they are there for you and they bring joy, laughter, opportunity, whatever, or not. Now is a perfect time to build yourself a life that is designed to bring you happiness. Stop wasting time with the past. Your kids deserve a better adjusted father than you are today. Don't take too long correcting that.

[Oneforthree]

I feel like I will never accept the BF as my daughter's step dad, role model, or anything else. Should I just let go and let ex's new BF into my daughter's life? Am I unreasonbly holding onto anger, or should I just accept the inevitable and do my best at being a great dad?

I understand your anger regarding this. Remember anger is a secondary emotion, and often the primary emotion is pain. It is hurtful to envision this other person a part of your child's life. The BF may not be "the one", and others may follow. As said, you have no control over what your ex chooses to do.

As time passes, it gets better. Acceptance is healthy. You can't force it upon yourself, but it will come if you encourage yourself. Remember, you are Dad. The only one. Your daughter will never forget that, nor replace you. Be her father.

[RC211V]

I'm gonna think of that chimp every time I'm around the kids' mom and/or any dude with her. Effin LOL.