Just trying to do some research

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Just trying to do some research

Postby elg12345 » Mon Jan 16, 2012 8:55 am

Ok so here is the deal. My wife confronted me the other day about some messages and sites she found on my computer. She is accusing me of having an affair but I wasn't. She found messages from a female friend of mine where she called me baby(which she calls everyone) and that she misses me. Also yes this other woman does have feelings for me but never acted on them. Also she found some messages where I was venting about my marriage as we have been having problems the entire time we have been married. And in my lack of judgement I did create a profile on a few dating sites to get credits on a social networking site. I never attempted to communicate with anyone on these sites but I did have the profiles. I admit it all looks suspicious which is why I don't fault her for being upset.

We have been married for 2 years and have no kids together. We do have a house that I guess would be considered marital property seeing as how I closed on it a week after we got married. Also we have many items financed. She does work and makes about 1200 a month vs. my 5000 a month. Would the suspicion of an affair help her case for alimony or would she have to have solid proof. We live in GA

I would really like to get this processed as a no fault uncontested divorce but at this point I am still waiting to hear her decision on whether she wants to work this out or not. As of right now we are taking some time to evaluate what we want. I have already told her I want to stay with her and the ball is in her court. I am just trying to do some research ahead of time to prepare myself for what may come. Thanks for any responses.
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Re: Just trying to do some research

Postby Bubba Seal » Mon Jan 16, 2012 9:08 am

If you want to fix this then the first thing you need to do is get off any dating sites and stop chatting with some woman who has feelings for you, stop venting with other women, if you have problems with your wife then she is the one you need to be talking too, not some chat buddy.

Doesnt matter if youve gotten physical or not, you have more than likely burned your trust with your wife.



It sounds like from your post that you have already made up your mind to divorce her.

You seem to be thinking divorce is the easy out, it can be tougher than you will ever know til you are in the middle of it.

I think she should be upset with you.

Good Luck
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Re: Just trying to do some research

Postby sasserce » Mon Jan 16, 2012 9:12 am

The Laws in every state vary quite differently. For a 2 year marriage, however, I do not think you would have to support her for that long, and her income should be considered. The first thing you should do, is to interview a lawyer. Talk to someone you can share numbers with (income, debt) and let them tell you what is the best course of action!

It seems like there is a lack of trust in the relationship, and that is especially difficult to repair... it sounds like you are making the right decision. Good luck!
I may not be the brightest crayon in the box, but I am the most colorful!
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Re: Just trying to do some research

Postby Fatheroffour » Mon Jan 16, 2012 9:23 am

I am in Ga as well.

I would be shocked if she got any alimony.

No kids, 2 years? Depending on what you want to do with the house you could get out of this marriage for less than a grand.
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Re: Just trying to do some research

Postby elg12345 » Mon Jan 16, 2012 9:27 am

As I stated in my original post I understand she is upset with me. I have fully admitted my mistakes to her and I understand why she is upset. Also I have not made up my mind on divorce and I am not taking it as the easy way out. As I said the ball is in her court. I have already told her how I feel, I have deleted all profiles on any other sites, cut off communication with this woman and have told her that if we make it through this at any time if she wants to look through my emails, messages anything thats fine because I will not make the same mistakes again.

As I stated we have had problems throughout our marriage which I have talked to her about numerous times to no avail. She has shortcomings as a home maker but I have stuck with her in hopes that things will improve because I do love her.

I want to work things out with her but like I said I am just trying to be prepared in case she decides she doesnt want to be with me any longer.
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Re: Just trying to do some research

Postby Fatheroffour » Mon Jan 16, 2012 9:37 am

As I stated we have had problems throughout our marriage which I have talked to her about numerous times to no avail.


Don't have kids with this woman or the next time you have to come here it will be for real and it won't be concerning a 500 dollar no-fault divorce.
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Re: Just trying to do some research

Postby elg12345 » Mon Jan 16, 2012 9:44 am

Definitely don't plan on having kids especially with the way things have been. Our sex life was lacking anyway. I am 26 she is 22 we should be going at it more than once every 3 or 4 weeks anyway.
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Re: Just trying to do some research

Postby defaultuser » Mon Jan 16, 2012 9:49 am

More like 3-4 times a day...
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Re: Just trying to do some research

Postby elg12345 » Mon Jan 16, 2012 9:51 am

You are right about that. And at one point before we got married and it was nice. But shortly before we got married it stopped.
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Re: Just trying to do some research

Postby NewReality » Mon Jan 16, 2012 9:52 am

You're in your mid 20s and only with each other once a month? More to that story...
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