STBXW gets kids for 6 weeks in summer! Too long!

[TransAm]

I would prefer not going Sole for that reason as well: the Judge will not be happy.

As for sucking it up.. whatever man. I don't know your story, but it doesn't sound anything like mine. Did you read my entire post or just bits and pieces? My spouse up and left to another state. Fooled around up there like doing the Naked Bike Ride with her cousin and doing Meetup groups. Now that I'm divorcing her, she's concerned about the kids. 8 months later.
Yeah, I get the kids for 9 months, but it's without the vacation time. I'd like to have some vacation time with my kids too. Vacation time with both parents sounds fair, doesn't it? I would hope a judge has a little common sense and sees through all this BS.

I guess you were talking to me so I'll reply.

No. What I'm trying to say is that the lions share of NCP get EOW and the majority of the summer because of move away's like your ex decided to do.

Doesn't matter where she moved to and doesn't matter that she does a bus load of globe trotteres every Saturday night. You're peeved that you have the WHOLE summer off and no kid for 42 days. Find a hobby or go on vacation by yourself for some time. I mean, you still will have a couple weeks with you kid in the summer at least.

Here's how you (and I) have to look at it. The NCP (me & your ex) don't have the luxury of getting EOW plus a weekday overnight. So what the courts/mediation is doing is adding up ALL the EOW's for 9 months of the year that the NCP isn't getting (or rather, the child isn't getting) and put all those days towards summer.

What I'm trying to say is my situation is OPPOSITE of yours. And my EX doesn't like it just like you. She gets to set on her but all summer, just like you, steaming that I have possession and have to work, leaving the kids without either of us spending the majority of summer vacation off.

[MrBrightside]

I don't know why you're in the situation of not being able to see your kids more often, but I would hope it was beyond your control.
You see, my point is that this choice of moving away was within her control. I could understand if she was unable to find work where I live and only found it in another state. I would suck it up. But when she decides to move away because she wants to get away from the stress of her infidelity, etc. And due to her SELFISHNESS, she has caused this situation with our kids. They'll be stuck without a parent for an extended period of time during the school year and summer. The kids lose both ways. Don't you get it?

[epsilon]

So you're saying the kids lose both ways because she moved away. Got it. So the only way to solve it is for her to move back?

The reasons she moved away are irrelevant. It doesn't change what would be in the children's best interest which is what you should be looking at. (and her moving back is not one of the options)

So, given the situation, what is the best way for the kids to maximize time with both parents?

[TransAm]

Oh sure I get it. We all get it. It's not your fault and it isn't fair no matter how you slice it to you or the child.

It took me a while to figure out that these are the cards that we have been dealt. Just got to go to church and pray for that coal truck to smack her head on is all you can do.

But seriously, just be uber glad your the CP and she didn't take the kid with her when she left.

[Thoughts?]

Stop with the pity party and focus on what will prevail in court.

Sole means nothing re physical possession. In TX sole means sole managing conservatorship, which means you have decison making authority. It has nothing to do with physical possession times.

The six weeks you describe is the default for parents that live >100 miles away. If you actually took time to read the statute, I believe you would find you have an opp to pick a period in the middle so you don't go a full six weeks wo seeing the children.

Re your paying for the kids to see their mother, if she moved away, the court would likely find your ex would be liable for the payment of any travel costs.

The standard guidelines are presumptive. The extra time in summer offsets the fact they usually only see the child one weekend a month when a very long distance a way. If you focus on her job issues & reason for the move you will only make your head explode. Focus on the guidelines, and what the bench will likely grant. If you refuse to do that, go find a brick wall to beat your head against. You'll get the same court ruling either way.

The guys above gave you some good advice, and you chose to dramatize things. Focus on what you'll get from the bench, and how to maximize that. Focusing on telling everyone how things suck will get you no further time.

[jerico08]

Your n the school system right? You get other breaks during the year to take vacations with kids that she doesnt like winter break, spring break, three and four day holiday weekends, right? It seems like every month during the whole school year there are all these breaks and time off. Why are you focusing so much on just the summer? Just split the summer weeks like others mentioned above and leave sleeping bears llie still because this is what a judge may ask you too.

[CCR]

If 6 weeks is so bad, then you take the 6 and give her the other 46.

In other words, stop your whining.

This is about the kids....not you.

Sorry, but your post hit a nerve....I've seen 100 just like this over the years, although yours is the first from a man. The rest have been from whining moms, who do whatever they can to reduce the other parent's time, because they say it's to hard on THEM to be away from the child.

[Fatheroffour]

I understand missing your kids but if this is an issue that you cant come to grips with, you have mental problems best addressed by a mental health professional.

[MrBrightside]

It's obvious I hit a nerve with some of you guys. I should have seen that coming and I meant no harm or triggers. I just feel this case is different because she ran away from her responsibilities. She moved as far away as she could. I'm assuming you guys did not run away from your family. That you are trying everything you can to be as close to and a big part of your kids' lives. Why should a dimwitted & selfish decision to move away make my life and my kids' lives more difficult than it has to be? I don't see myself never being able to come to grips with decisions that don't fall in my favor. But to say I need mental help because I'm pissed that my kids would be gone for 6 weeks due to this selfish decision is heartless and obtuse IMO. Just saying.

[Fatheroffour]

It's not heartless and obtuse.

It's obvious.

In your own words you will never be able to come to grips with decisions that don't fall in your favor. That's abnormal. It's a mental deficiency that you need to address.