yeah...another long post...so much stuff...but the theme is to stay straight on your #1 goal and make a document for the kids to present to court
GA_DevastatedDad wrote:TOO ALL PLEASE ANSWER THESE 4 QUESTIONS BEST YOU CAN..
1.any body got an example of what they think to be a great parenting plan.
2. any pointer on what specific points Judges look for in the plan?
3 What are the top 2-3 things people/dads forget to mention in a parenting plan?
4. What would be the top 2-3 don't s of a parenting plan for dads?
1. Lot's of examples below. But a "great" parenting plan will be highly individual to your sitaution.
Live far away? 50/50 is very hard or not doable
Live semi-close where the kids could commute to school from either house? Then an equal-sharing situation is totally doable.
Some parents are firefighters, military, or other odd schedule careers, so they have different needs too.
But start with where the kids live, and the rest falls into place around it.
2. Judges look for:* Kids have child support
* Kids have insurance
* A written plan to where the kids stay
* A written plan as to who makes decisions (education & medical) for the children (this item is the "joint custody" part)
Judges don't care for parents.If something costs you too much...judges don't care. They don't like you.
Kids.
And kids only. That's the theme of the document.
3. Needed details such as:* who drives (for my situation, I like the parent to have the kids next picks up the kids)
* what time of day a thing begins (the holiday says "Thanksgiving" but is that 7am on Thursday morning? Or 7pm the night before?
* key decisions (education & medical)...have a few details such as neither parent will go do something major (change schools, embark on medical care that is not immediately and medically needed, etc.) by themself unless both parents have expressly given their consent
* Remedies - (this is kind of an advanced topic, but Tom covers it well
here. The idea is that a consequence/remedy is built in for
some issues (no, you can't have the other side give you a BJ if they're late on kid exchange...but just a thing to consider for your document)
4. Top mistakesa. Spend energy on "noise" and things that won't affect your case
b. Fall on your sword
c. Starting with somebody else's goals and working backwards (you want to start with your #1 goal and work forward)
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The parenting plan (sometimes called parenting contract) ideas:
* Has schedule for when the children are at which house
* Includes exception schedule (holidays, etc.)
* Might have some specific times of day listed for different things (when is pickup, what time of day the holiday starts, etc.)
* Might have specific requirements for parents, such as notifying the other of medical situations or a "right of first refusal" (ROFR) such as when a parent needs to get a babysitter as they plan to be away for xx hours, but they will first ask the other parent.
* Might have vague (and sometimes unenforceable) items that courts like to see such as "both parents shall work together in an open way to benefit the children."
Other parts of the divorce document:
* Asset division (how the 401k get's split, who gets the toaster, the dog, the lawnmower, the credit card debt, etc.)
* Alimony (sometimes called maintenance or support) is typically a part of asset division
* Declarations (I am Person A, that is Person B, the mother is/isn't currently pregnant, there is/isn't special disability needs, etc.)
* Child support - this will be based upon the state's "guideline" calculation...pretty much off some chart. The chart is based upon several things, but how much time the child spends with each parent is a common theme.
The whole document becomes a part of what you can/can't do for many years and it's only about the document and won't be at the whim of any sheriff deputy, etc.
Also...the more crazy the Ex is..the more detail you want the language (such as who drives for the kid exchange, what time, etc.)
Things court doesn't care about:* parents
The court hates the parents...so never talk about things "you" want/need...the court doesn't care. It takes some time to change the way to talking (to the court, to the Ex in emails, etc.) to "the child needs."
Example:
Old way: "3 hours is too far and expensive for me to drive" (court hates you, court doesn't care)
New way: "3 hours is too long for the child to be travelling each time"
The court
may care if a parent does one of these:
* drug abuse
* harm the children
* felony (even then, not all felonies)
Outside of the above list (a parent sleeping with an entire ship of sailors when the ship is in port, yelling at the kids, etc., etc., and more etc.)....the court doesn't care.
On to the sample parenting plan links:Lawmoe on DD (Lawmoe's awesome):
viewtopic.php?f=9&t=13380Google Search on DD parenting plans:
http://www.google.com/search?btnG=1&pws ... ivorce.comBasic Google Search with samples from several states:
http://www.google.com/search?q=model+parenting+planOhio's "sample"
http://www.fultoncountyoh.com/elected_o ... ndix_A.pdfArizona's "sample" (skip down to the calendar section for many ideas)
http://azcourts.gov/Portals/31/Parentin ... elines.pdf-----
GA_DevastatedDad wrote:I just got a call from an officer.
...
I tell him that we just had went to court. and that yada yada yada....hes telling me nawll that aint true because I will never have more than three days < parenting time >.
...
then he tells me next time hes gonna lock me up because he is tired of me.
Sorry you're going through this type of thing. It brings back memories for me and probably quite a few dads on here.
This is one example of "noise" in your life. When "noise" appears, you silently document it, but don't spend energy on it. "Noise" saps your energy, distracts you, and is an excellent tool for the other side...don't let them do that to you.
A law enforcement officer legal opinion has zero affect on family court. Next time:
* have your recorder (if legal in your state) silently recording
* nod and smile (be polite, no physical movements..etc.)
* do not talk to the officer unless you were were the one that called them and you are filing a criminal complaint. If you didn't file the criminal complaint, say nothing beyond your name, birthdate, address, and that you won't be answering any questions at this time.
This type of "noise" gets:
* written down by you afterward
* ignored by you as it doesn't do anything toward your #1 goal.
* vented (to counselor, close friend/family, to us)...but after the venting, it doesn't get action as it's "noise."
