I think it's coming soon and I need help

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I think it's coming soon and I need help

Postby asicguy » Tue Feb 22, 2011 9:19 am

Hi.
I am re-married and have a wife who is pregnant and we have a young one too. I also have kids from a previous marriage. They don't live with me, but visit often. My wife has become increasingly unhappy with the situation and has been bashing my children and my family. She recently told me she wanted two homes, one for me to go to when I have my kids and another for her, our baby to be and toddler. I am at the end of my rope. My child support for my kids is a third of my income, my wife has all of our savings and I pay the bills. My current wife is unstable and said that there is no way she would let me see my children with her if we separate.

I am trying to make it work, but it seems like this is an inevitable train wreck. My main concern is my children. I have a pretty good relationship with my previous kids. I would love to get custody of my children with her, but I don't see how that will happen, especially with their ages. I am also concerned that I won't get a lot of time with my kids if we do get divorced. I feel that she will try to make things difficult any way that she can (She is a control freak).

My wife also cannot handle our toddler. She is out of control with her. I am the only stability she has which worries me sick if my wife leaves with the kids.

Any advice from people in similar situations or in general would be of help. I'm at the end of my rope.

Thanks!
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Re: I think it's coming soon and I need help

Postby Fatheroffour » Tue Feb 22, 2011 9:36 am

Wow. She sounds like a winner. Too bad your already swimming in deep water.

It's good that your here now so you can develope and execute a strategy that will give you the best chances of success in reaching your goal rather than having a divorce sprung on you.

My wife also cannot handle our toddler. She is out of control with her.


Biggest part of your winning strategy will be documentation of your Superdadedness as well as these out of control moments your wife has with the child.

Hang tight, document and wait. Time is on your side.
Everyone lies.
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Re: I think it's coming soon and I need help

Postby hoosier_dad » Tue Feb 22, 2011 9:45 am

asicguy wrote:My current wife is unstable and said that there is no way she would let me see my children with her if we separate.


You need to get this as evidence if you go to court, recorded audio, emails etc.
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Re: I think it's coming soon and I need help

Postby spritom » Tue Feb 22, 2011 10:08 am

I'm thinking two things to consider:

* couples counseling (which is not private) and within the counseling you may find some success towards her rejoining with you, or you may find out some more about your current wife. Either way, I'm thinking you'll find something out of it.

* Start journalling - not in the classic-leather-bound-notebook, thing, but a private journal. Which means somewhere in which your wife can't read it. This also includes a hidden/unknown MP3 recorder if she starts (continues) saying such wild things.
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Re: I think it's coming soon and I need help

Postby asicguy » Tue Feb 22, 2011 10:19 am

We've done counseling before when our first child was born. This is bearing a lot of resemblance towards that. We managed to work some things out and when the toddler came, things got better.

This time, it's a lot more final. Her way or the highway. I'm willing to try counseling and she claims she is, but when she says my other kids are not welcome and is awful to them when they come, it becomes unbearable.

I do have a question regarding recordings. Is it legal to make recordings if she doesn't know about it?

Thanks for the insights. I am starting the journal now. I am trying my best to prepare for whatever may come.
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Re: I think it's coming soon and I need help

Postby jamessick » Tue Feb 22, 2011 10:33 am

Recording depends on what state you're in. Some allow single party knows recording, some state require you to let the other party know you're recording. If you're in a single party state such as TX, then record away and save the useful files. If you're in a two party state, record away to protect yourself from possible domestic violence charges that can happen when a divorcing wife wants to get you out of the house.

However, counseling is a good option since she did say she was willing. You already know how much divorce sucks, so any attempt to save your current marriage is worth it if you love her and want to stay together.
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