wife wants to move to FL if she looses job

[oldfat1]

I live in GA and wife is from FL. She threatens to file restraining order for aggressive behavior and have me removed from home unless I agree to let her take my kids to FL 'If' she looses her job. She wants me out of the house in 30 days regardless.

I have never been physically aggressive but have argued with her over extremely filthy condition of our home. She has been leaving food and dirty kitchen things within reach of our 2 and 3 year olds for the past two years. She has not changed bed linen in 18 mos. She refuses to cook, clean or do laundry. When I clean, she goes behind me and creates more filth. If I call family services they will arrest both of us and take the children. Her father visited so the house will be OK for 3-5 days.

We have been married four years and I have two other children from a previous marriage. Taking my youngest from me and their sibblings would be wrong but she has always been jealous of my other two.

She has been on and off of anti-depressants for over a year but has maintained regular employment. Her job history shows that she can usually find a new job within weeks of loosing one.

What can I do to protect myself?

[jsjmm]

Don't wait call the police and file d.v. charges on her.
I will promise you she will call on you.

[oldfat1]

OK I am as dumb as I sound. Spell it out for me, please.

[FurryCatHerder]

(Deleted due to being electronically stalked on this board.)

[ben]

OF1,
BEFORE you make any moves, learn everything you can about how custody decisions are made in your local area. Knowing and understanding this will take you further than anything elses.

Be very careful and AVOID all verbal and/or physical confrontations with her. Invest in a quality pocket sized tape recorder and use it when you believe things are getting out of control.

A DV charge can be filed against you with nothing more than her words and NO WITNESSES. If you can record her making incriminating statements, you might save your < hindquarters >.

Notice that I didn't make any comments regarding the condition of the home. Because in the bigger picture, it doesn't matter when it comes to custody.

Protect yourself with knowledge!! Good luck.

[oldfat1]

She has during her third attempt to remove in 2004 emptied the checking account and caused the mrtg. to bounce. She is not emotionally stable and is desperate to move to FL and get me out of her and the childrens' life. I do not put anything past her now and need whatever tactics are necessary to keep my children near or with me in GA. She can go her way any day but leave the kids.

[CustodyIQ]

Unless you want to move to Florida too, by no means should you agree to let her take the kids to FL.

The bottom-line is that you're heading for a divorce, whether you want it or not.

I think you asked the right question, "How do I protect myself?"

There is something called "The List" in the References on this website, which would offer you some valuable tips.

Georgia is a one-party audio recording state. This means that when taping a conversation, only one party needs to know about its recording.

You are at liberty to record your conversations with your wife while in Georgia.

I would suggest that you buy a mini-cassette recorder. Stick it so that it's concealed in a jacket pocket, but still picks up audio. Experiment with it to make sure.

One day soon, set it up hidden in your jacket with it recording. Say aloud the full date and time for the tape, and then walk into the room where your wife is.

Express your concern over her previous threat about filing a restraining order. State that you have never hit her or threatened her, so it's not fair that she would threaten to file a restraining order if you don't let her take the kids.

Ideally, she'll say something in agreement but will lay out her plan to do it anyway.

Keep trying with such conversations (on tape) until she says what you need to capture.

Then, take the recording to an attorney, the attorney may want a certified audio transcript, file a petition for divorce, and seek temporary custody of the children.

That tape will suddenly be your insurance against fighting a restraining order. It speaks volumes about mother's willingness to falsely accuse you of violence, and I think a court would find it alarming.

This is a VERY DIFFERENT scenario than if the restraining order has already been requested, which is where many men start. Once the RO is requested and ordered, it's a different playing field... and of course the woman wouldn't thereafter admit it was a sham.

Maybe others on this board have some advice too. I disagree with the advice that you should file an unfounded restraining order against her. If you feel genuinely threatened, that's one thing. But lying shouldn't be in your arsenal of tactics.

It sounds like you've been through the custody thing before and have gotten custody, so all of this is familiar to you, right?

Good luck.

[Bolivar]

OldFat1,

You are heading for a divorce. (95% probability) be grateful your Soon To Be Ex (STBX) spilled the beans. My eX executed the divorce with military persuasion. I had NO idea it was coming.

Jsjmm, ben are old times and give good advice. CustodyIQ is new to me but also gave some good advice.

<edited>

Read and Memorize “THE LIST”
http://www.dadsdivorce.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=13374

[Pete]

Follow the link in my signature line to the List.

As the others have pointed out, the best ammunition in this process will not be the condition of the house, or her depression, or her mood swings. Many of these things were present during the marriage, and therefore somewhat nullifies the impact of an argument on that basis when it comes to custody. (Trust me I know from personal experience).

The best ammunition is information. Bens advice, as usual, is clear concise and right on the money.

[dadsdivorce]

I'm re-opening this thread since the original poster should not have his thread hijacked and closed because of off-topic squabbles. All non-related topics have been removed from this thread so we can get back on track with the original discussion.

Please stay on topic. Anything off-topic will be immediately deleted.