Wife wants out

[The Ultimate Misogynist]

The last study I read about regarding unfaithful wives came out of Hamburg, and it showed that close to two-thirds of women cheat. Even more interesting, and something that amazed researchers was that fact that fully 90% of the women who admitted commiting adultery felt absolutely no remorse. The point I'm making is that if you're married, the odds are very high that your wife has already cheated, or will do so shortly. It is what it is.

Always file first at the slightest hint of trouble. Any problems with a wife are merely the tip of the iceberg. I there are any problems in your relationship, then your wife is already considering divorce.

[Captain Jim]

"Always file first at the slightest hint of trouble. Any problems with a wife are merely the tip of the iceberg. I there are any problems in your relationship, then your wife is already considering divorce."

Sorry, I think you've slipped over the edge my friend.

[HP]

Dude; stay in the house, make her leave and keep the kids. If she wants the divorce, she can walk out, NOT YOU. Tell her that it is not acceptable for her to take the kids out of their home into her mothers.

File first, ask for temp custody AND child support. This assuming you can handle the house payments and such on your own.

[The Ultimate Misogynist]

No; I haven't slipped over the edge. It's simply a matter of playing the odds. It might not apply to every woman equally, but considering the fact that most divorces end in marraige, and the overwhelming majority of these proceedings are initiated by the wife, does it really pay to give a woman the benefit of the doubt? I think not.

If my views and attitudes are so erroneous, might I politely ask which one of us is battling an ex wife, and which one of us is not? If you had my rather "jaded" views towards women, Captain Jim, you also might have my portfolio.....

You also wouldn't be battling an ex-wife.

[concerned4us]

what if from the beginning you are so possessive, asking very ignorant things about past relationship, comparing them, hit your wife twice, pushed her off a couch at 8 months preg, spit in her face, threatened to kill her if she ever left, threatened her close relative, things smooth out but daily its trivial, dont trust her and let her know it, constantly puting yourself down and her, making her look bad in front of friends, , then things are kinda ok, but fighting every holiday, and cussing the kids calling them<edited for content> very mean, over 12 years until you accuse her one more time and she finally snaps and asks for a divorce, you leave and she files, what then

[Bob]

87--sorry you're going through this. There are a hundred guys who have been through the same and I'm one of 'em. It doesn't make you feel any better.

I wallowed--and still do sometimes--in wondering what the heck I did wrong. You can probably come up with a hundred things you did wrong. Forget about that. Today is the first day of your new life. Things will never be the same and they probably don't need to be. Good things can come of this.

I beat myself for three months until I found out my stbx was having an affiar and had had one for months. Point being, there's something else going on with your wife more than likely. It may not be another guy, but it's something.

If marriage counseling is out, proceed to do what you need to do. While you make an effort to reconcile, also have an eye on battle.

Remember when that little twinge of panic and frustration starts to eat at you that this will pass and NO ONE can ever take away from you that you're your kids dad.

[Bob]

:twisted: what if from the beginning you are so possessive, asking very ignorant things about past relationship, comparing them, hit your wife twice, pushed her off a couch at 8 months preg, spit in her face, threatened to kill her if she ever left, threatened her close relative, things smooth out but daily its trivial, dont trust her and let her know it, constantly puting yourself down and her, making her look bad in front of friends, , then things are kinda ok, but fighting every holiday, and cussing the kids calling them <edited for content>, very mean, over 12 years until you accuse her one more time and she finally snaps and asks for a divorce, you leave and she files, what then

Then you call the police or go to a women's shelter.

Fake flag...

[Bob]

I would follow her or hire someone to follow her.

Don't ever follow her. It's called stalking and it's a felony. Hire someone.

[Lawmoe]

If you wish to preserve the mariage, suggest counseling. Divorce is a final act and all options should be reasonably explored before pulling the trigger.

However, in the end, if she wants a divore, there is nothing you can do to stop it. Educate yourself oon the issues, begin collecting documents and evidence, plot a strategy and move forward. If you spend too much time staring at your shoes and wondering why, you will find yourself at a significant disadvantage.