Hi and welcome to DadsDivorce, the leader in divorce help for men, fathers rights and mens rights. We provide divorced dads with concrete, practical divorce resources to achieve the best results in the courtroom.
I was divorced about 12 years ago. At the time my children were 3 and 1 1/2 years old. Our divorce was filed in Missouri. My court order states that I am to pay only $250.00 per month total for child support only because I threatened her that I would file for custody based on the fact she is an unfit mother. She bowed to my threat and that is the way it is. 4 years into my divorce she remarries and tells me that she is moving out of the area and also that she was going to take me back to court for more $$$$. I negotiated with her out of court that I would give her an additional $150.00 per month outside of D.C.S.E.'s system. She agreed. Well, since she has moved back to the area and I am now seeing my kids alot more but now she wants more $$$$. My income as a Structural CAD designer is obviously not to scale with what D.C.S.E. is going to want me to pay but it hasn't changed much since my original decree. Also the fact that I am seeing my kids more now they are in my area again I am spending more money on them directly. Do you have any advice on what course of action I should take?
If she is an unfit mother, you should have taken custody when you had the chance.
She can request CS, but the burden of proof will be on her to prove a significant change of circumstance AND that the child's needs are not met given the current level.
She may ask for more and actually have it lowered if you can document your higher percentage of custody time.
NEVER agree to anything with your ex out of court, ESPECIALLY paying more money.
Let her file for the increase, she will incur her own legal expenses, and then make your case that it should not be increased based on the circumstances you indicate, counter file for sole custody (have some proof as to why), and ask for legal fees for her bringing the action before the court.
Don't worry about what you cannot control. Focus on what is legally relevant, not morally indignant or petty.
If she has physical custody and the matter goes to teh Court for a child support review, theere is no doubt that you will wind up paying guideline child support (whatever that is in your State). Most states do not base child supporton the respective amount of time each parent spends with the child unless there is joint physical custody, or in some states, if your children are with you over 30% of the time. You must educate yourself on the child support guidelines in your State.
As a result, the only way to avoid the adverse child support consequence is to change custody. Different states have different standars. In a minority of the states (like Minnesota) you must demonstrate that endangerment has occured. In others, you must simply demonstrate that a change in custody is in the children's best interests. In either case, any incidents occurring before your last custody order are now irrelevant and will not be considered by the Court.